David’s Story
I had a decent upbringing and education so I was confused at how I got here. I had run my own business, owned property, had four children – but I also had three broken relationships, the last being a 20 year marriage. I had become emotionally broken and physically and mentally dependent on alcohol, my life had become unmanageable. I felt like I was standing in the wreckage that had become my pitiful existence. I had no house, no wife, rarely saw my children; I was in isolation, a living hell. I had no business, I was severely depressed and had serious mental health problems and had become unable to work due to my alcohol dependence. The highlight of my day was waking up from my last stupor to find sufficient alcohol and tobacco to kick start another day in the cycle of addiction using mind and mood altering substances. Eating was cheating back then, so food was not an essential. The others however definitely were.
At the end of 2016, when my wife left, I knew it had all gone badly wrong. I was unable to work, unable to function. I had to sell my house so I was homeless and alone and desperately unhappy. My mental health was in the balance; I had not lost all my marbles but a good few had worked very loose to say the least! The people that I knew did actually love me wanted me to go to rehab, they wanted me to get well and finally beat the demons that were causing me to destroy myself. I just nodded my head and agreed - it would take nothing short of a miracle to help me – so I got in the car and went through a month of rehab.
That month of rehab didn’t work for me for many reasons, but basically I wasn’t ready. I was not beaten and broken enough quite yet. Another year of extensive (and expensive) self-destruction was needed, which nearly killed me on numerous occasions. There is a saying in recovery that you can step off the downward elevator of destruction at any level, but my lift was going all the way down.
I knew that this was my last chance and I was finally desperate for help…I could not win this fight alone and in ignorance.
I started to attend regular meetings to qualify for help to rehab and to control my drinking so that I could be well enough to respond to treatment. I knew that this was my last chance and I was finally desperate for help…I could not win this fight alone and in ignorance. I had suffered alcohol induced seizures whilst withdrawing from alcohol. I had suffered acute organ failure including cardiac arrests, pneumonia, depression, anxiety, the list goes on. This time it really was do or die. I also earned that I suffered with another killer illness: resentment. Resentment causes 75% of all relapses.
I worked towards a funded rehab program and knew I was going to need something drastic to change the habits of 40 years. I had serious emotional problems due to experiences that fit the diagnosis of emotional trauma and arguably borderline personality disorder. My experience at my first rehab suggested that a 12 step program based rehabilitation was not for me. I was encouraged to find Oxygen Recovery as it was a therapy based program that could be adjusted in areas that needed more focus. They offered treatments on thoughts, feelings and emotions (like CBT, DBT and other workshops and life skills). I am pleased to report that for once in life I had made a sound decision!
Interaction with other successful peers encouraged me to have faith in a program that could work for me
I had heard really positive feedback about Oxygen Recovery and was also encouraged by the small number of other resident peer members in comparison to other treatment centres. The location worked for me as it was away from my old haunts but near enough for permitted visits when the time came. Once I was able to attend AA meetings outside of the therapeutic day I was very happy to discover that I’d really hit the jackpot. There was an excellent choice of groups and meetings and they were welcoming, positive and supportive. There was also lots of support from peers who had received treatment and were further advanced in Oxygen Recovery’s versatile treatment program and after care scheme. Interaction with other successful peers encouraged me to have faith in a program that could ultimately work for me.
I found the staff to be very knowledgeable, professional and committed to delivering a service to help all addicts along their journey. Each journey is challenging and the staff work as a team to produce positive outcomes for those that are ready and willing to commit and engage. The team link clients up with access to the local health services who are used to seeing service users and the problems caused by addictive living. They also helped us with work around cooking and budgeting for meals which is an excellent way to learn that food is directly linked to mood.
40 years of addictive living takes a lot of correction
Coming to rehab was a little daunting at first but I knew I needed to win this time. The process requires you to essentially stop at nothing to receive education, help, support, guidance, care, compassion and much more to beat addiction. I remember coming to treatment thinking three months was an eternity but what I learned after a few short weeks is that three months didn’t even tickle the surface of my journey. I am still on it ten months later and I am striving to remain on it for the rest of my clean life.
In short, coming to Oxygen has proven to be one of the biggest, soundest choices I have made in my life. Oxygen facilitated a rehabilitation program that treated my physical medical detox from alcohol. They then assessed my treatment needs and tailored a therapeutic program specifically for me. They have supported me through their supported living program so I could remain in treatment for as long as possible - because 40 years of addictive living takes a lot of correction.
I was encouraged to take the risk and the leap of faith required to help my healing process
They encouraged me to access other forms of help – becoming a member of AA has proven to be my next milestone in my recovery. Since finding them it has catapulted my life into another dimension and made every day amazing beyond my expectations. The one to one counselling I received at Oxygen has been fundamental to my recovery journey. I was unsure at first about exploring my innermost secrets and demons, I was afraid. But I was encouraged to take the risk and the leap of faith required to help my healing process. I only came to Oxygen to stop drinking so much (!) but this set in motion my ability to process thoughts, feelings and emotions at an adult level. Oxygen has taught me to abandon my old values, thoughts and behaviours and the flawed notion that I knew best, as my best thinking got me to a place of desperation. I needed to follow the rules and accept guided directions, to take risks in terms of being open to treatments and commit to an honest program and a belief that secrets keep you sick. I basically needed to stick to the rules, to work the program and make progress every day.
I am a different person now. I am present and alive, I have found a faith and belief that I never would have thought possible
I now follow and work the 12 step program of AA and attend regular weekly meetings. I have a sponsor to guide me and check my thinking. I am working towards helping others and am now accessing a voluntary learning role in a local recovery service. Eventually I want to gain the qualifications to enable me to deliver therapeutic practices to others suffering from dependence on mind/ mood altering substances and victims of emotional traumas. I am currently in supported living provided by Druglink and am looking to be rehoused permanently with my new network of recovery friends and associates. Basically I am a different person now. I am present and alive, I have found a faith and belief that I never would have thought possible. The change has been incredible.